Grace
GRACE – THE BOND BETWEEN MOTHER AND FOAL
One of the biggest issues I come across that causes lasting damage to the horse is the weaning process that is carried out in the world. More often than not the mares keep the foal with them until they are about 6 months old and then they are weaned. A lot of people simply take the mare or foal and remove them to another yard or the foal is taken and locked in a stable both doors closed to stop it coming over the door. The screams from both mother and foal can be heard for miles around.
One of my biggest arguments with mankind is that horses feel the same emotions as us, imagine what would happen if at 6 months old a child is removed from its mother, no warning no time to say goodbye. The feelings felt by the human mother would be dreadful, heart breaking and yet mankind believes it to be acceptable to do the same to a horse, who, I know feels the same as any women. Perhaps the following case will make you think;
Grace
Grace is my horse, I found her in 2004 at a dealers in Somerset. When I first saw her I looked into the saddest most haunted eye that I have ever seen.
Grace was incredibly stressed in her stable, box walking and not at all happy, I suggested we bring her out into the yard so that I could see her properly. I felt her over and her body was a mass of damaged energy deep rooted emotions that needed to be voiced. She was very poor you could see her ribs and there was no muscle on her body. I knew I had to help her and struck a deal with the dealer and came home to get my trailer and went back to collect her. I was told that she would travel fine she had after all come over from Belgium, but he did advise me to “drive as soon as she is loaded”!
Once safely in the box I drove Grace away with her screams for her friends ringing in my ears. By the time I got home she was covered in sweat and her eyes had taken on a vacant haunted expression. I decided to turn her out with Fee in the hope that she would relax. Once out in the field she made friends with Fee and started to graze. In the evening I brought them both in and introduced Grace to her stable, she was not at all happy shut inside and the feeling of panic and separation was huge. I realised that Grace could not be on her own it was more than she could cope with and so I arranged the stables so that Fee was opposite and she settled for a little while to eat her hay. I knew that she was on high alert the flight mode was never far away and with that complete panic about being shut in.
It soon became apparent that Grace could not cope with any horses in the yard leaving her, so my mornings started very early so that I could get Grace out with Fee before any other horse was moved.
I started healing Grace out in the field where she was happy and the intense sadness and grief that came over me from her was immense. Her eye was so sad and all I had to do was look at her and I cried her tears. During the healing sessions I could see her foal being taken and how hard she fought to keep her but the men were to strong and they took the foal away. I could see her standing staring through a gap in the barn wall watching and screaming until the foal could not be seen or heard anymore. During times that Grace was quiet in her stable she would stand and watch through a whole in her stable wall in the hope that one day she would see one of her foals return.
It wasn’t long before I realised that I needed the help of another healer as I was too emotionally involved with Grace to help her.
I called out Madeline Walker who visited Grace. Madeline took one look at Grace’s eye and the emotion and sadness hit her. I told Madeline what I knew of Grace she had been a brood mare in Belgium and then brought over to the uk. She had gone to the auction but was so poor nobody brought her so ended up at the dealer’s yard. The vet thought she was about 12 and had confirmed that her body was sound but her mind was another thing! Madeline picked up on the grief that Grace felt it was the grief from loosing her babies having them taken she had put up a fight but the men had won. She saw as I did the separation and she picked up on the heaviness of Graces heart brought about by the huge emotional experience of loosing her foals. Imagine how you would feel if your six month old baby was one day taken never to be seen again, imagine the fight you would fight for your baby only to be beaten down and watch your baby being carried away screaming for you and you for them. This is exactly what Grace had been through but nor only once she had shown me four foals, four times she grieved for her babies imagine if this was you, how would you feel.
Madeline carried out a healing on Grace’s heart and as she put it “to let the tar out” the emotional grief was being held in Grace’s heart and needed to be released so that she could begin to heal emotionally. As she did this Grace’s eyes became heavy and she licked and chewed and relaxed 100% which would have been the first time she had done this for a long time.
Grace’s grief and sadness was the same that any lady would feel having her baby taken from her never to see it again. People have to start realising that the way the foals are weaned has a huge affect on the mare who after all is the mother. She has carried the foal for eleven months felt it move inside and gave birth and fed and given unconditional love for six months as any mother does her baby.
Grace became more relaxed after the healing with Madeline and I felt that the huge wave of grief was subsiding and I carried on healing her and spending time out in the field building a relationship with her. I would sit and read in the field and Grace would be near by grazing and happy in my company. She still had huge separation anxiety and I knew that this was something that would be with us for the rest of Grace’s life.
Once Grace started to feel more settled I started taking her into the school to play with her on the ground. During my years of studying the horse I had watched the exchange of energy between horses in the herd and how they communicated with each other and I needed to use this with Grace. Grace’s first reaction to anything new was fear straight into flight mode and I needed to reach her and engage the thinking side of her brain before the flight took over. I started with her being on a head collar and introduced my form of energy communication to her which she soon understood. I had Grace on a long rope and work her body in different directions so that she had to think about what I was asking; if she was thinking there was nothing to fear. These sessions were kept short as it made her very tired. Thinking can be quite exhausting to a horse especially when they have survived in flight mode for such a long time.
After a while I introduced the saddle and bridle to her, the dealer said that he had backed her but I started as if nothing had been done before. Grace accepted the saddle and bridle and we carried on with the ground work until I decided to ask Grace if she would stand by the mounting box that I had brought into the arena. To start with thinking process left the body and the box was obviously the biggest monster she had ever seen. So I brought the box to her and let her sniff it and then I let it touch her body so that she realised it was nothing to fear, I again spoke to her and asked her to stand by the box which she did, I thanked her and took her to her field to turn her out with her friend. This was something else I had learnt from Grace in the early days, although she had huge separation anxiety it was ok to take her from her friend but not her friend from her.
The next time in the school I asked Grace if I could put my foot in the stirrup again she was not to sure about this so we stood at the mounting box and thought about it for a moment and eventually when she was ready I put my foot in the stirrup and bounced a couple of times. Grace accepted this and I thanked her and took her back to her friend in the field. We went through the whole process of mounting like this it took a long while some days the flight mode and panic kicked in so we went back a few steps until she was happy and feeling secure again. The day I did get on her properly was amazing she stood quietly for me to mount and when my other foot was in the stirrup I gave her a polo and got off. People watching I no thought I was mad, but if I was to have a good relationship with Grace It had to de done at a speed where she stayed calm.
Over a period of time I was able to ride Grace not as others would ride her but by using my communication and my energy we were able to work out a system that worked for us. At that time I asked Amanda to give me a lesson but it soon became obvious that Grace would not cope with the pressure and I decided that all I needed from Grace was to be able to be with her and go for hacks. On one such hack we came across a car and trailer filled with plastic parked by the side of the road. Grace went into flight mode straight away and tried to run back up the road. I stopped her and the lady with the trailer asked if she could help in anyway. I asked her to sit on the corner of the trailer which she did and I asked Grace to walk past it which to the ladies amazement she did “what was the difference?” she asked, “now it’s a seat and not a monster trailer” I replied. You see if you understand the way your horse thinks life can become so much easier.
Grace and I now have a fantastic time out hacking on the Dorset hills never on our own but with her friend. It doesn’t take much to change her if the hunt or shoot come near then the flight and panic mode kick in and she becomes very stressed but I can soon calm her and bring her energy back down. People have often said to me that it was just as well I went to see her on that day because nobody else would have coped with her or understood her. I am pleased I did, Grace and I are on a journey together and I am glad that I have managed to repair some of the damage created by man on this beautiful mare whose only crime was to be a loving mother.
I am called out to treat many horses who have been scared by the weaning process, for some it does not show up until later in life as you will read.
Grace has now passed to Spirit but continues to work with me when I am healing.x
Taken from my book The Horses Voice