Where it all began

Where it all began………………………..Many people have asked me “how did you know you could do healing”. The truth is I didn’t I had always heard and felt the emotions of animals and for many years I thought it was something everyone felt.I was born in Poole Dorset not a country home and definitely not with horses. I had a love no a passion for animals. As a child I was allowed a cat he was black and white and called Fluffy.I loved all animals and would spend much of my time walking the neighborhood dogs.  I would walk across the common looking for the tethered pony. I would take a plastic bag with porridge oats and chopped carrots and apple. I was sure that this was the way to connect with the wild pony now tethered by a chain. Her freedom was taken and she hated that chain, galloping round and round and pulling with all her might. I would tie the dogs up so they were safe and would then quietly approach her. She was very nervous and had come from the sales straight from the New Forest. Slowly she began to accept me, I can remember standing there and crouching down making myself small as I felt this would help her.  I had not had any experience with horses but this felt right, making myself small and holding out a carrot. Slowly she would move closer step by step and reach and I would feel her gentle lips touch my hand as she took the carrot. I would make sure she had water and talk to her hopefully giving her comfort. Sometimes I would go to the common and she would not be there so I would look all over until I knew she was safe. This was my first connection with horses and one I will never forget. This little pony taught me a lot and I did not know why but it was like I understood her. The connection was made and stayed until the pony was sold and I would start the whole thing again with the next pony from the sales.So my young childhood was spent with the neighborhood dogs, Fluffy and the tethered pony. It was as if everything was ok if I was with an animal. They made me feel accepted and safe and I seemed to know what to do. It was easier with animals than people, I am sure if I was young now I would be described as special needs. But then it was ignored, I found school challenging and would spend a lot of the time on my own. I found the playground terrifying and found the noise hard to cope with. In one of the classrooms there was a beautiful wooden rocking horse. I was never in this class so did not get to sit on it. I used to look through the window and would dream that she was mine.  After a year the rocking horse was removed by the caretaker. I looked through the window and the space was empty, in a panic I ran to the caretaker’s room and there I found her. The caretaker caught me looking and he was a kind man and let me into his room so I could ride the pony. I don’t think this would happen now and to be honest I don’t think anyone knew about it then. But Mr. Smith seemed to understand my love for this wooden horse. Then one day Mr. Smith was no longer there and the door was locked and never opened again.I continued through my younger years connecting with anything with four legs. Every cat and dog on my trip to school was spoken to and stroked. Often I would have my Mother’s words ringing in my ears “don’t touch they will bite!” But I knew they wouldn’t and I would caress and scratch away with every animal I met. I found animals took me into a different world, their words and feelings I understood.When I was 12 it was discovered that I was severely deaf and I was fitted with hearing aids. I found these hearing aids horrid and refused to wear them. I hated the noise of the world and wanted to stay in the quiet place that I knew as home. When I left the hospital wearing the aids a double decker bus drove past and I thought my head would explode. But then we walked into the park and I heard the birds for the first time. I shall never forget the sounds of their calling, the sounds of nature I could cope with but the rest took a while to get used to. I did not wear the aids because I wanted to hear just the whispers the sounds of the animals.  I could always communicate with them and feel their feelings there was no barrier it was as simple as talking to Mum.  But nobody else heard the whispers, there was no fear just complete understanding. When I was with the animals I felt complete at one with them.  There were no barriers or confusion that could happen when I was with people; I guess we spoke the same language.  My intense love of animals may have seemed strange to some, I was not from a home in the country I was brought up living in Poole Dorset far away from the place of my dreams.  Watching Black Beauty, Folly foot and any other horse program I could find that was my dream.  My parents were not horsey the only horse contact I had as a child growing up was if we went to a Country Park, or a drive on the New Forest.I believe having my deafness gave me the gift of being able to communicate on another level.  On a frequency that is the same as animals, I had absolutely no fear of animals as a child because they told me they would not hurt me.  For me being with the animals was more natural than with people.  I felt the emotions and pain of the animals and this could sometimes be very confusing. Nobody else seemed to feel it or hear it which brought questions into my life.I started to learn to ride at the age of 12. Oh how I loved those Saturdays when I could escape into what had been my dream world. My senses seemed to come alive every time I was with the horses, the smells, sounds, touch, to look into their eyes and feel as one. The riding lessons did not always go well and I must have frustrated the instructors. I would not kick or use my whip it was not in me to use force so I was often plodding on behind in my own world. These fortnightly riding lessons was where it all started and little did I know how it would progress. I eventually brought my own horse when I was 21 and my dream came true.When I was 17 I joined the big world and realised that to be part of it I needed to change. I wanted to be seen as “normal” and I stopped telling people what the animals thought. I still heard them and helped any animal in any way that I could. I then brought changes into my life and started socialising and having a party time. So for many years I turned off the other voices I married and had two children and then when I was thirty years old I hit a depression.During this dark period in my life I had counseling and I was taken back to find my inner-child.  I visualised young me that I called “Junior”. I was sat under the tree with Fluffy and having a conversation with him. As I was telling the Doctor what I was seeing it was as if a bright light tuned on and the curtain opened. I looked at my counselor and told her she was going to think I was mad.  She encouraged me to carry on talking and I told her “I can speak to animals”, I don’t know how I do it but it is something that I did all the time as a child.  I then realised that there always seemed to be something missing in my life.  I could not explain it and it was during this session that I realised I was on the wrong path but quite what the right path was I had no idea,  but I didn’t have long to wait.I was beginning to feel better when one morning I picked up the local paper and an advert caught my eye.  ‘Psychic Evening ‘I had never been to anything like this before but I knew I had to go, it was being held in the next village so I asked a friend to join me and off we went.The evening was being run by the late Bill Harrison. As I took my seat I picked him out easy enough by his loud waistcoat and wonderful smile and laugh.  The evening began pretty much as you see on television, you are given a microphone and a message is passed to you from those passed over.  I found the whole thing very interesting and all of a sudden the microphone was placed in my hand by Ron and Bill said “I have a message for you from your Nan.” I confirmed that Nanny had passed over and felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.  Bill went onto describe Nanny from her lovely smile, her short height and the twin sets she used to wear.  But what totally convinced me was when he described her hearing aid which was the box pinned to her jumper and a wire going up to her ear-piece and also her Salvation Army uniform.  Nanny wore her uniform with pride as bill described the bonnet with the big bow I knew Nanny was with him.Bill told me that I had inherited not only my Nanny’s deafness but also her healing hands.    He then said “you talk to animals don’t you” I confirmed that this is something I have always done. “With your speaking to the animals and healing you can really help the horses which is what you should be doing.  Come and see me after and we will have a chat”.To say I was blown away was an understatement. But I stayed until the end and went and had a chat with Bill, which is possibly the best thing I have ever done.  He told me that everything I had was natural he wanted to know why I didn’t tell people about the communication.  I explained that when you have been doing it all your life you think everyone can do it, it was only when I was 17 and told that I was strange that I started to hide my gift.  He told me it was now time to stop hiding and to start healing.After my chance meeting with Bill I arranged to go and see him at his healing sanctuary and there started years of advice, training and mentoring until his death.  I sometimes went months without seeing Bill but he was always there when I needed advice and that was very important.  He used to say to me “get on with it, there is nothing that anyone can teach you.  The ability you have is a gift and spirit wants you to use it.”I didn’t tell many people about my healing ability I knew lots of people would find it strange and suspicious that I suddenly had these powers!  I started reading and studying everything I could find on healing   so that I had a chance of understanding exactly what I was supposed to be doing!  At this time there were not many books on healing horses so I studied healing in general.  I looked at Reiki which then was very popular and acceptable and I felt perhaps this was my path.  I phoned Bill and he said I did not need Reiki and that I just needed “to get on with it.”I didn’t take Bill’s advice! I had a friend who was a Reiki master and said that she would gift Reiki one to me as a present.  I went to her house and the proceedings started and after the meditation she asked me to put my hands above my head so they were shoulder width apart.  The attunement then started and I had to bring my hands together.  But I couldn’t It was like I had a brick wall between my hands and there was no way in this world that they would come together.  Anna my friend stopped and I apologised and told her that I could not do it. Something was stopping me being attuned to Reiki.  I later phoned Bill and told him about the experience and his reply “I told you do not need Reiki what you have is pure and stronger than anything else.”I thought about this for a while and then decided that perhaps I would listen to Bill and ”get on with it” so I did just that I started healing a friends horse and Liz then  introduced me to a wonderful lady who became a good friend called Amanda who let me use her yard for my case studies.   During this time I also gave a raffle prize to a charity for a horse healing and a lady in Weymouth had won it and I was booked to treat her horse.I went feeling slightly nervous.  I knocked at the door and the lady told me that the horse was in the stable and to knock the door when I had finished.   Obviously there was not much interest in my work from his owner so off I went to find Sam.  Sure enough he was in his stable and I introduced myself over the door and put his head collar on, when I entered the stable Sam came across as a very calm horse and quite happy to accept healing from me.I felt him over his body and located areas of heat where he was holding onto old negative energy and I started healing the areas down through his back.  As I was healing I asked Sam if there was anything troubling him.  His eyes became heavy and he started licking and chewing as he released the negative energy in his body.  Then I was drawn to his sheath area and Sam showed me pictures of his penis it was very sore and the whole area was swollen.  I focused on healing this area to release the memory and blocked energy from this experience and he relaxed and yawned and when he was comfortable I finished the healing.I argued with myself as I walked back to his owner whether to mention the details given to me about his sheath area but felt uncomfortable with it and perhaps thought I had imagined it and it couldn’t be true.  I knocked the door and told his owner that her horse had enjoyed the healing and there didn’t seem to be any major issues past or present.   Sam’s owner replied “Oh if you had told me about the infection he had two years ago around his sheath and penis I would have believed you were good! But thanks for seeing him” and closed the door.I walked down the drive kicking myself.Shortly after this Amanda had given my phone number to one of her pupils as the horse kept on going lame and the vet and the physio could not find out what was wrong.  My confidence had taken a bit of a battering and I agreed with myself that I would say everything that the horse told me.I arrived at the yard and Shelia came out to meet me and took me to see her horse “Rose”.  Shelia explained that the lameness had been going on for months and nobody seemed to know what was causing it.As I walked into Rose’s stable she told me straight away that she had “sore feet”.  I felt her hooves and I felt an area of heat in both front hooves.  I told Shelia what Rose had said to me and that she should ask her vet to x-ray the hooves.  I carried on healing Rose who relaxed and was very grateful that someone had listened to her.  The following week Rose’s hooves were x-rayed and it was found that her pedal bones had moved and the pressure and pain was making Rose lame.  The farrier was brought in and with corrective shoeing Rose has continued to have a lovely hacking life and I still see her out and about today.As you can imagine Rose really boosted my confidence, but I still had so many questions and I decided that if I was to be of any use to the horses I needed to study.  There started twelve years of studying;   I could not afford courses so I studied at home everything I could find on healing, horses, communication.  The horses taught me and showed me how to give healing to them. They took me through the different levels of healing until we reached the emotions. The pain, fear, hurt, happiness, unhappiness all locked away within. Sometimes holding them back from moving forward into a beautiful life. Longed for but unable to accept all that it brings, being stuck in old ways holding onto hurt and pain in a place that has become home. They showed me how the past needs healing and releasing much of which I experienced in my life as well. Staying stuck in emotions with pain and fear crippling the body is not pleasure but a void of terror. Releasing the feelings and talking therefore healing opens a door for us all to walk through. Both humans and animals need healing to welcome not only the future but also the present. The present moment is the grounding of all that we can build upon. From there our dreams can become reality and our lives full of joy for both horses and their people.I also studied myself and who I am not who I had become but the real me the person I should have been all along.  I took apart my communication ability and my healing hands; I studied healing, the universe, spirit and Mother Nature.I then studied the horse and how horses communicate and found out just why horses did what they did.  I looked at their survival in wild herds and how humans have affected these beautiful animals and over time turned them into robots to boost our ego.I studied both human and horse and opened myself to spirit; I learnt how connection with our guides can bring confidence and understanding into our lives.  Until, I understood exactly who I am and what I could do.  Then after 12 years of relentless studying fueling my hunger and passion I decided it was time to go back to everything that I had taken apart.  Pick up my communication and healing and put it back together to become who I am now “The Horses Voice”.Spiritual healing and the horses have changed my life, I am no longer the person I was. I am the true me my life is simple and filled with love and joy. The horses give me so much there are no words to describe the connection.So a chance meeting with Bill Harrison changed my life. There have been many roads followed some of them wrong and a u turn had to be made. The horses have been a huge part of my life and I now have 6 mares who teach me and people at my workshops how to give healing. Nine years ago I gave myself to my work and it has become my vocation. My quest has taken me many miles and I have treated many horses and hope that I have brought understanding to the horse and their person.My life is beautiful beyond words and with this blog I hope to bring some of the beauty to you. I will write about some of my healings as the horses all have knowledge to share.  I hope to share how the horses need us to be at peace and help you find that small place within that we all have. There will be meditations and messages from the horses to you all.So 2018 is my year of the blog! I look forward to connecting with you all love and healing xxxxxxxxxx